You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
