That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
