Is it because I queefed?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
