It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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