Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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