from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
