God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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