you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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