I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
