Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize