watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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