Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
