I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
