we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
