But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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