Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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