I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
