How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
