On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
