I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
