How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
