i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
