Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
he just fucked me for my cheese..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
