Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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