i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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