All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
