I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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