somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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