Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
