As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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