so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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