It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
