I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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