gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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