Umm I'm too high to move.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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