You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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