GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
