I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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