fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Randomize
