bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The adults are the big ones right?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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