I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i out mim tonsoeep
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