I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The power of my boobs compel you
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize