Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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