Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
