It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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