I wish my penis had an off switch
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
