That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm too high and old for this...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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