dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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