I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
