I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize