Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
