just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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