I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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