I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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