Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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