i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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