I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dicks are not precious.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
