Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize