YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
