I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
