i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
