Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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