We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
